My Antidepressant Life

Have a good life.

Repeat: The quick, quick version

This week’s Five Minute Friday writing prompt is: REPEAT.

Hi. My name’s Jae, and this is my brother Pete, and my other brother Repeat.[note]I had to.[/note]

You guys. Holy cow. I’ve taken three run-ups for this OS class, and failed every time.

But this time I’m screaming through the class like a Bentley on fire, while “Bohemian Rhapsody” plays loudly in the background.[note]I can’t wait until “Good Omens” is released. Does it show?[/note] I just thought my brain had broken. Too old, too dumb, too much a failure.

It literally never crossed my mind that having my home life constantly filled with conflict and confusion was taking up most of my brainpower, with nothing left over for anything else.

I’m kind of stunned by this thought this morning. I really just thought my brain was broken. And, I mean, I’m not 20 anymore, and to be honest, I was more than a little worried about the dementia that runs so strongly in my family, although I was trying not to be. Huh.

All those money fights, and the fights were partly responsible for my struggle to make a better wage. Life is hilarious.

Life is also more hopeful, now. I like that. Maybe my brain didn’t break in my 30s, causing me to have to leave a job I loved. Maybe things will be OK.

6 thoughts on “Repeat: The quick, quick version

  1. It’s amazing, isn’t it, how much our environment and current situation affect our ability to think and process. We can get down on ourselves for not being able to keep up – when in fact it’s perfectly understandable that we’re struggling to keep up. Glad you had this epiphany, and hoping things go really well from here on!

  2. It’s amazing what stress can do to the brain. But, it’s resilient, too, which you are demonstrating! Go, Lucien!

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